weepingdildo:

I want a relationship that’s just like super cool friendship with like kissing

ratchetmessreturns:

I can’t

ratchetmessreturns:

I can’t

iphone user: *minding his own business*
android user: AHH look what we got here, another Apple Fanboy!
iphone user: im not really a fanboy
android user: let me guess, you just came back from snapchatting steve jobs's grave
iphone user: hey man thats in poor taste
android user: good luck getting your $300 jizz box to do what my Samsung G4TMX can *pulls out very large phone*
iphone user: it's quite large
Android user: you should see the stylus. it's a legit pencil! *tries to grab stylus, drops massive phone, it falls and lands on a chipmunk, breaking its neck*
iphone user: oh my god!
android user: oh my god is right! *picks up samsung* not a scratch on it. now thats some good engineering
turklet:

me to all boys under 5’10”

turklet:

me to all boys under 5’10”

megachikorita:

hamlet is much funnier if you only read the margins and not the actual dialogue

megachikorita:

hamlet is much funnier if you only read the margins and not the actual dialogue

applevevo:

listening to a sad song that has a nice beat

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dutchster:

he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?”

dutchster:

he looks so pleased in the end “DID YOU SEE THAT?”

stuartsometimes:

I warned you

stuartsometimes:

I warned you

earthdad:

so i applied for my first job today

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